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A word from the marketing-crimes division

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This public service announcement opens on a CSI-like scene. Let’s call it “CSI: Marketing Crimes Division.” The lieutenant asks the lab guy, “What have you got?”

“It’s a tough one,” says the lab guy.

Lying before them under bright lights on a stainless steel examination table is the weapon: an email printed on plain white paper. The lieutenant turns it gently with tongs, then reads it. “‘Brillo-BI is designed for the vast majority of businesspeople who do not have access to big BI solutions.'” A list of features follows in bullet points.

He snorts, “I don’t get it. The product can’t be for everybody.… Read the rest “A word from the marketing-crimes division”

Not by muffins alone

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Do the TDWI San Diego organizers think we’re on a diet? Are attendees and exhibitors no longer paying full fare? I try, but I can’t quite forgive the elimination of hot breakfast.

You may recall the spread that once honored us: chafing dishes full of scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon, potatoes, biscuits alongside gravy, crisp red seedless grapes and fans of sliced honeydew and cantaloupe. Also three kinds of muffins, cold cereal and hot cereal, too. All were continually refilled to encourage bountiful first and second helpings.

At this show, sadly, there are no hot chafing dishes, there is no melon, there is no cereal of any kind.… Read the rest “Not by muffins alone”

The nose still knows better than Web 2.0

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Several hundred practioners of the many aspects of business intelligence are gathering here in San Diego for this week’s TDWI conference. They know how to clean data, enable fast searches, design insight-accelerating tools and other wonders—and yet no one yet has a reliable metric to score restaurants. We still have to go out and sniff.

You’re now screaming at me: ask your concierge! I did. She sent me to Oceanaire, the Blue Point and several others. But all looked too slick and none smelled good.

Other readers are screaming different advice: look at Zagat, at TripAdvisor, at Google Earth! I did.… Read the rest “The nose still knows better than Web 2.0”